var quotes = new Array;

quotes.push("I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra");
quotes.push("The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. - William Butler Yeats");
quotes.push("Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway");
quotes.push("A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W.C. Fields");
quotes.push("What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - Tee Mans");
quotes.push("When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -Henny Youngman");
quotes.push("I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. - Tom Waits");
quotes.push("24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Stephen Wright");
quotes.push("Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill");
quotes.push("The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.- Humphrey Bogart");
quotes.push("You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin");
quotes.push("An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway");
quotes.push("Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. - Ambrose Bierce");
quotes.push("Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde");
quotes.push("I drink to make other people interesting. - George Jean Nathan");
quotes.push("I have made an important discovery... that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effect of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde"); 
quotes.push("They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. - Scottish proverb");
quotes.push("They who drink beer, will think beer. - Washington Irving");
quotes.push("Consuming wine in moderation daily will help people to die young as late as possible. - Dr Philip Norrie");
quotes.push("Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder - Kinky Friedman");
quotes.push("Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. - Seneca");
quotes.push("Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin");
quotes.push("Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. - Graham Greene");
quotes.push("First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. - Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald");
quotes.push("Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - W.C. Fields");
quotes.push("I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. - W. C. Fields");
quotes.push("If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt. - Dean Martin");
quotes.push("Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days. - Egyptian Proverb");
quotes.push("When the wine goes in, strange things come out. - Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799");
quotes.push("A waltz and a glass of wine invite an encore. - Johann Strauss");
quotes.push("If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. - P.J. O'Rourke");
quotes.push("Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much; Then again, don't drink too little.~Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Johannsen");
quotes.push("Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.  ~Ernest Hemingway");
quotes.push("A hangover is the wrath of grapes.  ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.  ~John Marcellus Huston");
quotes.push("If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.  ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker");
quotes.push("Draft beer, not people.  ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.  ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("Wine is bottled poetry.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson");
quotes.push("When the wine goes in, strange things come out.&#160; ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, <i>The Piccolomini</i>, 1799<!--, act 2, scene 12, MBT p33-->");
quotes.push("If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker.&#160; If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.&#160; ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.&#160; ~Quoted in <i>P.S. I Love You</i>, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.");
quotes.push("O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!&#160; ~William Shakespeare, <i>Othello</i><!--, act II, scene 3; MCTO-->");
quotes.push("First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.&#160; ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald<!--PMB, p289; quoted in Jules Feiffer, <i>Ackroyd</i>, 1977, 7 May 1964-->");
quotes.push("I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.&#160; ~Raymond Chandler");
quotes.push("If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.&#160; ~Joseph Schenck");
quotes.push("This is one of the disadvantages of wine:&#160; it makes a man mistake words for thought.&#160; ~Samuel Johnson<!--COCI-->");
quotes.push("One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.&#160; ~Lady Astor<!--CUL-->");
quotes.push("A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner.&#160; &#34;Much obliged,&#34; said he, pushing the plate aside, &#34;I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills.&#34;&#160; ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin");
quotes.push("Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.&#160; ~W.C. Fields");
quotes.push("It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.&#160; ~Thomas de Quincy, <i>Confessions of an English Opium-Eater</i>, 1856<!--WLBUQ-->");
quotes.push("It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.&#160; ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker");
quotes.push("The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.&#160; ~H.L. Mencken, <i>Prejudices, Fourth Series</i>, 1924");
quotes.push("Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.&#160; ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps.&#160; ~Author Unknown<!--DCD-->");
quotes.push("I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.&#160; ~Thomas Jackson<!--DCMOO-->");






document.write(quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]);